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Our data shows that charity bullying is (thankfully) quite rare but it should be unthinkable. Sadly, it isn't and it's often passive aggressive bullying, which I think is the most difficult to deal with. This article provides some techniques for dealing with bullies - those who think claiming passion for their charity cause justifies bullying behaviour on their part. The ones who keep telling you that it’d all work brilliantly, if only you didn’t keep letting them down so badly. I know it's really difficult, so take from this article whatever is useful to you and seek help - there are links in it to organisations who provide free, professional advice and support for people being bullied.
In a sector driven by passion, bullies often project a persona that makes them appear to be one of the many truly fantastic and genuinely passionate people we have. In reality, they undermine the organisations they profess to care about and make a misery of the lives of the people in them. The first step in dealing with a passive aggressive is to see past the saccharine charm and recognise their behaviour for what it is – bullying.
Don’t get angry and stay positive, a much as you can. If you let them drag you down to their level, they may well use it as ammunition to undermine you. It’ll also help you to cope better - you’re responsible for your own behaviour, not theirs, so try not to allow them to ruin your life.
They may blame you using generalities, such as ‘You made a mess of the project’, because it makes responding difficult. Try not to get angry. Instead, put the ball back into their court by saying that you wish to respond positively to their criticism, but for you to do so they have to be specific about and tell you what they want. If they give you specifics that you reasonably can do, do so. It's possible they may recognise that you are engaging and responding constructively and begin to change their behaviour. If not, it creates evidence of you doing so.
They may well say that they are ‘too busy’, in which case ask them when it would be convenient to talk. If they say what you got wrong was ‘everything’ or something similar, tell them that to address their concern, they have to give you the information you need to do so. When you have an answer, or if you don’t get one, ask them what they want you to do in future. If what they are saying is unreasonable, explain why and suggest an alternative solution. Taking a reasonable, solution focussed approach will help to deny them the opportunity to revisit the issue and send a message that you are not prepared to simply be blamed by them. And it will continue to create evidence.
For continued bullying behaviour and follow through on this. For example, if someone continuously arrives at meetings late, explain that in future the meeting will start on-time without them and then do so, if you have to. If he/she is your line manager that's obviously more difficult, so:
Look for what triggers their behaviour and observe when and how they seek to undermine you. Obviously, there are behaviours and standards that we all must follow, as professionals. Do not compromise on these, but try and think of ways you might manage your interaction with them, to minimise their behaviour. If they are a micro-manager, it may be that copying them in to lots of information may help. Or, if doing something in a particular way, triggers their behaviour, it might be that there’s another way you could do it. It’s also important to reinforce good behaviour to encourage him/her to repeat it. As part of this, ensure you deliver on anything you agree to.
Work to strengthen your relationships with charity colleagues to make it more difficult for the bully to undermine you. Consider speaking to someone you trust or seeking help from a 3rd party. For example.
You have a number of statutory rights.
Bullies may ask for something then claim you didn't do it at a later date, or say they didn't ask for it at all. Being able to respond with clear specific detail helps to counter this. And, if you need to take formal action, you will have everything you need to support that action.
If you stand up to the bully, he/she may seek to take action against you. If they’re a subordinate or colleague, they may even take out a grievance, or seek to undermine you with the senior team or board. If they are your superior, he/she may potentially seek to take disciplinary or capability (poor performance) action against you, or even dismiss you.
Therefore, it’s important to.
In the very many well run charities, bullying will be totally unacceptable. However, too many aren’t and, in your first 2 years of employment, you only have legal protection against unfair dismissal in certain limited circumstances. Consequently, in responding to bullying, think carefully about the outcome you want, what you will accept and how far you are prepared to go to get it. Even if successful, seeing the process through would require strength. If you have it, fantastic, as you'll be helping others too, but achieving the best outcome and caring for yourself should be your main priorities. Having to leave a job you love for another role and let the bully get away with it, may be hugely unfair but, possibly, an option worth thinking about. If you do decide to do so, it will not be you who has failed, but your organisation. There are many outstanding charities, who support and value their people, so don't stay if yours is one that won't.
The Charity Commission guidance on bullying is that charity trustees must recognise that there is no place for bullying and harassment within, or by, charities. Trustees have a central role to play to ensure their charity has clear policies, and that allegations are handled appropriately and in line with employment and other laws. Those concerned about bullying or harassment are encouraged to take their concerns directly to the charity or its trustees whenever this is appropriate, and trustees are responsible for ensuring they have processes in place to hear those concerns and address the matter.
The Commission’s safeguarding guidance sets out that charities with employees should have welfare, discipline and whistleblowing policies for staff, including clear policies and procedures on bullying and harassment.
Under the Commission’s serious incident reporting arrangements, charities should report the most serious actual or alleged incidents of bullying or harassment promptly for the regulator to assess. Workers and volunteers can also make reports to the Commission.
I think the above is useful for ensuring trustees are aware of their responsibilities. However, whilst I may be wrong and often am, from what I've read and heard personally, if I were being bullied, I wouldn't report it to them because I'm not sure it'd do any good.
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This article on charity bullying is for general interest only and does not constitute professional legal or financial advice. I'm neither a lawyer, nor an accountant, so not able to provide this, and I cannot write guidance that covers every charity or eventuality. I have included links to relevant regulatory guidance, which you must check to ensure that whatever you create reflects correctly your charity’s needs and your obligations. In using this resource, you accept that I have no responsibility whatsoever from any harm, loss or other detriment that may arise from your use of my work. If you need professional advice, you must seek this from someone else. To do so, register, then login and use the Help Finder directory to find pro bono support. Everything is free.
